Why so serious? :)


Until a child tells you what they are thinking, we can’t even begin to imagine how their mind is working….

Little Jack was doing very badly in math.His parents had tried everything.. .tutors, mentors, flash cards, special learning centers.In short, everything they could think of to help his math.Finally, in a last ditch effort, they took Jack down and enrolled him in the local Catholic school.

After the first day, little Jack came home with a very serious look on his face. He didn’t even kiss his mother hello. Instead, he went straight to his room and started studying..Books and papers were spread out all over the room and little Jack was hard at work. His mother was amazed. She called him down to dinner.

To her shock, the minute he was done, he marched back to his room without a word, and in no time, he was back hitting the books as hard as before.This went on for some time, day after day, while the mother tried to understand what made all the difference.

Finally, little Jack brought home his report Card… He quietly laid it on the table, went up to his room and hit the books. With great trepidation, His Mom looked at it and to her great surprise, Little Jack got an ‘A’ in math.

She could no longer hold her curiosity.. She went to his room and said, ‘Son, what was it? Was it the nuns?’

Little Jack looked at her and shook his head, no..

‘Well, then,’ she replied, Was it the books, the discipline, the structure, the uniforms? WHAT WAS IT?’

Little Jack looked at her and said, ‘Well, on the first day of school when I saw that guy nailed to the plus sign, I knew they weren’t fooling around.’

 

SOURCE: The Last Minute Guy

 

P.S : Purely intended for fun. You know that too right? 🙂

A Nice Story


A giant ship’s engine failed.The ship owners tried one expert after another, but none of them could figure how to fix the engine.Then they bought in an old man who had been fixing ships since he was young.He carried a large bag of tools with him, and when he arrived, he immediately went to work. He inspected the engine very carefully, top to bottom.

Two of the ship’s owners were there, watching this man, hoping he would know what to do.After looking things over, the old man reached on to his bag and pulled out a small hammer. He gently tapped something.Instantly the engine lurched to life. He carefully put his hammer away. The engine was fixed!

A week later the owners received a bill from the old man for 10,000 dollars.

‘What?’ the owners exclaimed. ‘He hardly did anything!’

So they wrote the old man a note saying, “Please send us an itemized bill”.

The man sent a bill that read:


Tapping with a hammer -> $ 2.00


Knowing where to tap -> $ 9,998.00

Effort is important, but knowing where to make an effort makes all the difference.

 

SOURCE: The Last Minute Guy

Money


I met money one day.

I said, “You are just a piece of paper.”

Money smiled and said,
“Of course I’m a piece of paper, but I haven’t seen a dust-bin yet, in my life”

SOURCE: The Last Minute Guy

Outsourcing Explained


And how Indians grab the deals…

Three contractors are bidding to fix a broken fence at the White House in D.C.


One from Bangladesh , another from India, and the third from China .


They go with a White House official to examine the fence.


The Bangladesh contractor takes out a tape measure and does some measuring, then works some figures with a pencil. “Well”, he says, “I figure the job will run about $900. ($400 for materials, $400 for my team and $100 profit for me)”.


The Chinese contractor also does some measuring and figuring, then says, “I can do this job for $700. ($300 for materials, $300 for my team and $100 profit for me)”.


The Indian contractor doesn’t measure or figure, but leans over to the White House official and whispers, “$2,700.”


The official, incredulous, says, “You didn’t even measure like the other guys! How did you come up with such a high figure?”


The Indian contractor whispers back, “$1000 for me, $1000 for you, and we hire the guy from China to fix the fence.”


“Done!” replies the government official.

 

SOURCE: The Last Minute Guy
P.S : This is purely indented for fun. No offense meant to any. Please be gracious and say ‘None taken’  🙂

Search


A boss wondered why one of his most valued employees had not phoned in sick one day. Having an urgent problem with one of the main computers, he dialed the employee’s home phone number and was greeted with a child’s whisper.

“Hello ? ”

“Is your daddy home?” he asked.

” Yes ,” whispered the small voice.

“May I talk with him?”

The child whispered, ” No .”


Surprised and wanting to talk with an adult, the boss asked, “Is your Mommy there?”

“Yes .”

“May I talk with her?” Again the small voice whispered, ” No .”


Hoping there was somebody with whom he could leave a message, the boss asked, “Is anybody else there?”

” Yes ,” whispered the child, ” a policeman .”

Wondering what a cop would be doing at his employee’s home, the boss asked, “May I speak with the policeman?”

” No, he’s busy , ” whispered the child.

“Busy doing what?”

” Talking to Daddy and Mommy and the Fireman ,” came the whispered answer.


Growing more worried as he heard a loud noise in the background through the earpiece on the phone, the boss asked, “What is that noise?”

” A helicopter ” answered the whispering voice.

“What is going on there?” demanded the boss, now truly apprehensive. Again, whispering, the child answered, ” The search team just landed a helicopter .”


Alarmed, concerned and a little frustrated the boss asked, “What are they searching for?”

Still whispering, the young voice replied with a muffled giggle…

” ME .”……….

 

SOURCE : The Last Minute Guy

Missing


Two little boys, ages 8 and 10, were extremely mischievous.

They were always getting into trouble and their parents knew all about it. If any mischief occurs in their town, the two boys are probably involved.

The boys’ mother heard that a preacher in town had been successful in disciplining children, so she asked if he would speak with her boys.

The preacher agreed, but he asked to see them individually. So the mother sent the 8 year old first, in the morning, with the older boy to see the preacher in the afternoon.

The preacher, a huge man with a booming voice, sat the younger boy down and asked him sternly,
“Do you know where God is?” son!

The boy’s mouth dropped open, but he made no response, sitting there wide-eyed with his mouth hanging open.

So the preacher repeated the question in an even sterner tone, “Where is God?!”

Again, the boy made no attempt to answer. The preacher raised his voice even more and shook his finger in the boy’s face and bellowed, “Where is God?!”

The boy screamed and bolted from the room, ran directly home and dove into his closet, slamming the door behind him. When his older brother found him in the closet, he asked, “What happened?”

The younger brother, gasping for breath, replied, “We are in BIG trouble this time!!

GOD is missing, and they think we did it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

 

SOURCE: The Last Minute Guy

An email from an Arab student to his dad


Arab student sends an e-mail to his Dad saying:

Dear Dad,

Berlin is wonderful, people are nice and I really like it here. But dad, I am a bit ashamed to arrive at my college with my solid gold Ferrari 599 GTB, when all my teachers and friends travel by train.

Your Son

Nasser

—————————————————-

Sometime later Nasser gets reply to his e-mail from his Dad:

Loving son,

Twenty Million Dollars transferred to your account, please stop embarrassing us, go and get yourself a train too.

Your Dad

 

SOURCE : The Last Minute Guy

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